Where has DarkStarSword been?
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Apologies to those who are waiting on me for something - I will get to them when I am able, but the last year and a half has left me mentally broken. [img]https://forums.geforce.com/cmd/default/download-comment-attachment/72071/[/img]
Apologies to those who are waiting on me for something - I will get to them when I am able, but the last year and a half has left me mentally broken.

Image

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Pre-release 3D fixes, shadertool.py and other goodies: http://github.com/DarkStarSword/3d-fixes
Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/DarkStarSword or PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/DarkStarSword

#1
Posted 03/25/2017 10:26 AM   
I hope your 3d work isn't adding to your stress - I don't think any of us here would mind you taking a break if it helps your mental state. :)
I hope your 3d work isn't adding to your stress - I don't think any of us here would mind you taking a break if it helps your mental state. :)

#2
Posted 03/25/2017 10:41 AM   
You are - with out doubt - Our shining star in here.. But off cource, take all the time you need to recover ! All the best wishes from one of your diciples :)
You are - with out doubt - Our shining star in here..

But off cource, take all the time you need to recover !

All the best wishes from one of your diciples :)

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#3
Posted 03/25/2017 11:02 AM   
Shit that Drawing is awsome. You should sell it. You know there is only one working mental idea to life."respect anothers and Do what feels right At the time" It does not matter what happens as in result of that the next or the last Things to happen could be super, so in a nutshell "you never know Weather you did the right choise or not untill you Are death" Offcourse you wanna want to feel good ect and propably Noone chooses sleeping in a gutter if it can be arvoided, but your never know what you'll find there untill you have been there. Atleast i believe every good or bad choise is the right choise as you don't see the whole Picture yet.
Shit that Drawing is awsome. You should sell it.

You know there is only one working mental idea to life."respect anothers and Do what feels right At the time"
It does not matter what happens as in result of that the next or the last
Things to happen could be super, so in a nutshell "you never know Weather you did the right choise or not untill you Are death"
Offcourse you wanna want to feel good ect and propably
Noone chooses sleeping in a gutter if it can be arvoided, but your never know what you'll find there untill you have been there.
Atleast i believe every good or bad choise is the right choise as you don't see the whole
Picture yet.

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#4
Posted 03/25/2017 11:08 AM   
hello darstarsword, welcome back !
hello darstarsword, welcome back !
DarkStarSword, please don't feel that you owe anybody here or anywhere else anything. You are the most important person in your life and you need to take care of YOU before you can start to think about taking care of others. We all deeply appreciate everything that you have done, and we know you are an awesome and intelligent guy. This awesome pic confirms all of those thoughts in everyone's minds! Take as much time as you need! Are you in the East UK area? If so, I would totally hang out with you man, if you wanted to sometime. All the best!
DarkStarSword, please don't feel that you owe anybody here or anywhere else anything. You are the most important person in your life and you need to take care of YOU before you can start to think about taking care of others.

We all deeply appreciate everything that you have done, and we know you are an awesome and intelligent guy. This awesome pic confirms all of those thoughts in everyone's minds!

Take as much time as you need!

Are you in the East UK area? If so, I would totally hang out with you man, if you wanted to sometime.

All the best!

Windows 10 64-bit, Intel 7700K @ 5.1GHz, 16GB 3600MHz DDR4 RAM, 2x GTX 1080 SLI, Asus Maximus IX Hero, Sound Blaster ZxR, PCIe Quad SSD, Oculus Rift CV1, DLP Link PGD-150 glasses, ViewSonic PJD6531w 3D DLP Projector @ 1280x800 120Hz native / 2560x1600 120Hz DSR 3D Gaming.

#6
Posted 03/25/2017 04:00 PM   
[quote="DarkStarSword"]Apologies to those who are waiting on me for something - I will get to them when I am able, but the last year and a half has left me mentally broken. [img]https://forums.geforce.com/cmd/default/download-comment-attachment/72071/[/img][/quote] On a more brighter side;) That Picture is pretty awesome! I really like how you made it;) Taking the Github Gant Chart as a reference;) Reminds me of "Life is Strange" game ^_^ (I swear to God I am not hinting at anything here). But, know that I think about it... yupp, life is very strange indeed;) If I can motivate you enough, I have a new "World First" in the plan as well:) It really depends where you find your motivation now;) If "new and awesome and cool stuff in 3D Graphics" is motivation enough, I have just the thing;) If the motivation is in a outside or RL activity, I don't think I can do much from here currently, BUT do let us know! MAYBE, we can figure something ;) I always say, it can be worse than it is, so enjoy every day as much as possible;) And I really hope you are feeling better! Cheers!
DarkStarSword said:Apologies to those who are waiting on me for something - I will get to them when I am able, but the last year and a half has left me mentally broken.

Image


On a more brighter side;) That Picture is pretty awesome! I really like how you made it;) Taking the Github Gant Chart as a reference;) Reminds me of "Life is Strange" game ^_^ (I swear to God I am not hinting at anything here). But, know that I think about it... yupp, life is very strange indeed;)

If I can motivate you enough, I have a new "World First" in the plan as well:) It really depends where you find your motivation now;) If "new and awesome and cool stuff in 3D Graphics" is motivation enough, I have just the thing;)
If the motivation is in a outside or RL activity, I don't think I can do much from here currently, BUT do let us know! MAYBE, we can figure something ;)

I always say, it can be worse than it is, so enjoy every day as much as possible;) And I really hope you are feeling better!
Cheers!


Life is as empty without Terror, as is without Love...
But thou Chaos can be beautiful...
It can not last...


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#7
Posted 03/25/2017 05:09 PM   
Take care of yourself man. You've done more than enough for this community and were all more than grateful to you for it!
Take care of yourself man. You've done more than enough for this community and were all more than grateful to you for it!

#8
Posted 03/25/2017 06:40 PM   
Well this is an awkward subject, simply because just about everyone has had suicidal thoughts at one time or another. My advice would be to treat it like the nagging bitch that it is and to extend your middle finger and say a loud F You! to it, whenever it raises it's ugly head. Then think about all the things in life that you love, the sun in your face, the wind at your back, fish tacos, PB&J sandwich, Dark Lager, The Big Bang Theory There are lots of things to love in life, big and small and every day is a chance to enjoy loving them some more.So whether you get up in the morning grab a cup of coffee, go for a run or do a wake and bake. Re-enforce the action saying that you love that cup of coffee and are thankful for another day to enjoy it. If you have trouble sleeping, a teacher of mine tought me a trick. There are three main distractions that de-rail sleep. Thoughts, noises and feelings. Thoughts....typically the endless rehashing of day to day events, usually work or money related. Noises...dogs barking, the faucet dripping, cars going by, the neighbors, etc. Feelings...an itch, sore toothe, stubbed toe, too hot, any type of discomfort. Now the trick, is to endlessly repeat whatever one of the three is bothering you at the moment. So a rough day at work and you keep thinking about the job at hand, you know that you need to sleep, but you can't stop thinking about that damn task at hand or that jack ass boss of yours. This is where you repeatedly say "thought". You say it over and over and over. Thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, After awhile, you'll find yourself no longer thinking about work, but now suddenly, you are noticing the dog barking. Now you start endlessly repeating "Noise", noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise now suddenly, you feel that tootheache, endlessly say "Feeling", feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling Dang it, now you notice the barking again, back to "Noise" , noise, noise, noise, noise zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (<-------- you now snoring) Anyways, life is a gift, find the enjoyment no matter how little and hang onto it dearly. We are all grateful for the work that you and others have done to increase our love of life, by making stereoscopic gaming much more enjoyable. TY and take care of yourself
Well this is an awkward subject, simply because just about everyone has had suicidal thoughts at one time or another. My advice would be to treat it like the nagging bitch that it is and to extend your middle finger and say a loud F You! to it, whenever it raises it's ugly head. Then think about all the things in life that you love, the sun in your face, the wind at your back, fish tacos, PB&J sandwich, Dark Lager, The Big Bang Theory

There are lots of things to love in life, big and small and every day is a chance to enjoy loving them some more.So whether you get up in the morning grab a cup of coffee, go for a run or do a wake and bake. Re-enforce the action saying that you love that cup of coffee and are thankful for another day to enjoy it.




If you have trouble sleeping, a teacher of mine tought me a trick.

There are three main distractions that de-rail sleep. Thoughts, noises and feelings. Thoughts....typically the endless rehashing of day to day events, usually work or money related. Noises...dogs barking, the faucet dripping, cars going by, the neighbors, etc. Feelings...an itch, sore toothe, stubbed toe, too hot, any type of discomfort.

Now the trick, is to endlessly repeat whatever one of the three is bothering you at the moment.

So a rough day at work and you keep thinking about the job at hand, you know that you need to sleep, but you can't stop thinking about that damn task at hand or that jack ass boss of yours.

This is where you repeatedly say "thought". You say it over and over and over. Thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought,

After awhile, you'll find yourself no longer thinking about work, but now suddenly, you are noticing the dog barking. Now you start endlessly repeating "Noise", noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise

now suddenly, you feel that tootheache, endlessly say "Feeling", feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling

Dang it, now you notice the barking again, back to "Noise" , noise, noise, noise, noise zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (<-------- you now snoring)





Anyways, life is a gift, find the enjoyment no matter how little and hang onto it dearly.

We are all grateful for the work that you and others have done to increase our love of life, by making stereoscopic gaming much more enjoyable.

TY and take care of yourself

#9
Posted 03/25/2017 07:47 PM   
Really sorry you're feeling this way man, I can relate all too well... it will get better... sometimes it may feel completely unbearable but it will get better... the key is to not wallow in it, if there's literally nothing you can do about it or to change it at the moment it's crucial not to dwell on it and let it bring you down... I find listening to music helps block out a lot of my stupid thoughts/change my mood... female vocals help soothe the beast, usually stuff I'd never listen to out loud... Lol. Thankfully I have lots of earbuds... sometimes it takes the complete opposite mood of music than the one I'm trying to get out of(Lily Allen*) other times anything'll do... Some people swear by taking Magnesium for anxiety and depression, others swear by taking Kelp for Adrenal Fatigue/stress, etc... I take both and a few other things, I guess it can't hurt. Lol :) *I will deny listening to this to anyone I know... :P
Really sorry you're feeling this way man, I can relate all too well... it will get better... sometimes it may feel completely unbearable but it will get better... the key is to not wallow in it, if there's literally nothing you can do about it or to change it at the moment it's crucial not to dwell on it and let it bring you down...

I find listening to music helps block out a lot of my stupid thoughts/change my mood... female vocals help soothe the beast, usually stuff I'd never listen to out loud... Lol. Thankfully I have lots of earbuds... sometimes it takes the complete opposite mood of music than the one I'm trying to get out of(Lily Allen*) other times anything'll do...

Some people swear by taking Magnesium for anxiety and depression, others swear by taking Kelp for Adrenal Fatigue/stress, etc... I take both and a few other things, I guess it can't hurt. Lol :)

*I will deny listening to this to anyone I know... :P
#10
Posted 03/25/2017 10:22 PM   
I don't know exactly whats up and im just going by "mentally broken" so sorry if im off the mark. Just wanted to offer some things that could possibly help. I have come to feel that besides each other all we have to generate happiness is interests and hobbies and that happiness comes from them by either doing them or looking forward to doing them. This relates to why I feel that kids should be taught as much about humanities greatest endevour, IMO NASA, and related topics as possible, because i think it takes a little bit on knowledge to understand why something at NASA, like a new metal alloy finally applied to something, is actually cool and interesting. Knowing how long they've been working on it, the problems with the last metal, etc. If you don't have a clue about NASA and many don't, the topic of NASA and its activities is probably going to sound boring. And yet, NASA is amazing if you think about humanity as a whole as being one person, finding themselves on this planet, looking out into the stars wondering whats out there. Conversly, if your like me, stamp collecting is possibly another good example of my point as a lot of people might think stamp collecting a strange thing to spend time on, yet i gaurantee there is someone somewhere who can't wait to get home to get a new stamp in the mail. Are they crazy? Are they insane? Do they have mental issues? No of course not, they just have gained a certain amount of information that gives them a certain perspective lending value to the stamps, their meaning and history, that in turn generates positive feelings right? The point is.... I think its hard to gain new interests and hobbies as one gets older, at least ones that are outside of our interest we gained in childhood and might even feel foreign and uncomfortable at first, or even for a long time and maybe it would best to choose something else to do. Yet, i think it is what we must do, that is, to jump into new activities that we think we could find interesting/fun if we find ourselves without happiness and try them out. Like, what do people get out of going to play tennis every sunday, not being pros or being competitive? The fun of trying to get a little bit better each time? Maybe tennis isn't for you. How about: Like Scuba diving classes. Here is Seattle there is a $99 flying lessons. Potery class cooking class or cook a new recipe once a month. Pizza once a week. Go hiking once a month For god sakes, get some excersize if you aren't already. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8&t=174s ) If you work too much, come up with a medical illness for your family member and tell your work your family is coming together to support this person and you agreed to help and can only work 4 days per week instead of 5 ) That me, but i've never been treated very well by my employeers so i would have no problems there. They really shouldn't either if they knew the truth right? Take a trip to ...NASA ( i found it FUCKING INCREDIBLE BTW, highly recommended, or somewhere like here. I drove back from California and on a whim, took the freeway exit to Mt. St. Helens. Holy shit i couldn't believe what i saw. I tried to film like i did my Mass Effect 3D video, just a collage of cool scenes, hoping the grandeur would come across in the video...it didn't...but here it is. You could do something like this where you live maybe? ( Sorry for the quality of the video, after 3 days of editing i found that the program i used would only export at a low bitrate and with judder... ) Beginning is a little boring, it was just for the memories, best to go to the end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4z_9t2nhPc One nice thing that has come from living in my car, is that i have found that i have just enough room to sleep spread completely out in the back of my Prius. Which means i can take road trips without a camper/trailer etc. Now Damnit, grab a beautiful lady, even if you have to pay, bend her over and FUCK HER IN THE ASS! ? it was going so well...
I don't know exactly whats up and im just going by "mentally broken" so sorry if im off the mark. Just wanted to offer some things that could possibly help.

I have come to feel that besides each other all we have to generate happiness is interests and hobbies and that happiness comes from them by either doing them or looking forward to doing them. This relates to why I feel that kids should be taught as much about humanities greatest endevour, IMO NASA, and related topics as possible, because i think it takes a little bit on knowledge to understand why something at NASA, like a new metal alloy finally applied to something, is actually cool and interesting. Knowing how long they've been working on it, the problems with the last metal, etc. If you don't have a clue about NASA and many don't, the topic of NASA and its activities is probably going to sound boring. And yet, NASA is amazing if you think about humanity as a whole as being one person, finding themselves on this planet, looking out into the stars wondering whats out there. Conversly, if your like me, stamp collecting is possibly another good example of my point as a lot of people might think stamp collecting a strange thing to spend time on, yet i gaurantee there is someone somewhere who can't wait to get home to get a new stamp in the mail. Are they crazy? Are they insane? Do they have mental issues? No of course not, they just have gained a certain amount of information that gives them a certain perspective lending value to the stamps, their meaning and history, that in turn generates positive feelings right?

The point is.... I think its hard to gain new interests and hobbies as one gets older, at least ones that are outside of our interest we gained in childhood and might even feel foreign and uncomfortable at first, or even for a long time and maybe it would best to choose something else to do. Yet, i think it is what we must do, that is, to jump into new activities that we think we could find interesting/fun if we find ourselves without happiness and try them out. Like, what do people get out of going to play tennis every sunday, not being pros or being competitive? The fun of trying to get a little bit better each time? Maybe tennis isn't for you. How about:

Like Scuba diving classes.
Here is Seattle there is a $99 flying lessons.
Potery class
cooking class or cook a new recipe once a month.
Pizza once a week.
Go hiking once a month
For god sakes, get some excersize if you aren't already.
( )
If you work too much, come up with a medical illness for your family member and tell your work your family is coming together to support this person and you agreed to help and can only work 4 days per week instead of 5 ) That me, but i've never been treated very well by my employeers so i would have no problems there. They really shouldn't either if they knew the truth right?


Take a trip to ...NASA ( i found it FUCKING INCREDIBLE BTW, highly recommended, or somewhere like here. I drove back from California and on a whim, took the freeway exit to Mt. St. Helens. Holy shit i couldn't believe what i saw. I tried to film like i did my Mass Effect 3D video, just a collage of cool scenes, hoping the grandeur would come across in the video...it didn't...but here it is. You could do something like this where you live maybe? ( Sorry for the quality of the video, after 3 days of editing i found that the program i used would only export at a low bitrate and with judder... )

Beginning is a little boring, it was just for the memories, best to go to the end.


One nice thing that has come from living in my car, is that i have found that i have just enough room to sleep spread completely out in the back of my Prius. Which means i can take road trips without a camper/trailer etc.


Now Damnit, grab a beautiful lady, even if you have to pay, bend her over and FUCK HER IN THE ASS!



?
it was going so well...

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#11
Posted 03/25/2017 11:03 PM   
You don't owe us anything, DSS. We appreciate what you have done so far (which is A LOT). Stay strong, and work on 3D stuff only when you want to do it. Everyone needs breaks. By the way, you started shader hacking in August 2015? I thought you were here for more years. That's almost the same time as me.
You don't owe us anything, DSS. We appreciate what you have done so far (which is A LOT). Stay strong, and work on 3D stuff only when you want to do it. Everyone needs breaks.

By the way, you started shader hacking in August 2015? I thought you were here for more years. That's almost the same time as me.

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#12
Posted 03/25/2017 11:57 PM   
One thing for sure- you absolutely did succeed at becoming the very best in the world at shaderhacking. You've surpassed even the astonishingly good work done by Helix. I haven't seen any other tool or work come close, including things like ENB and Reshade. Still, like others have noted, if shaderhacking is adding stress instead of satisfaction, then let it go. Take a break, work on only stuff you are enjoying, or give it up altogether. You know yourself best. Absolutely love your art there, super great. Possibly because it reminds me of the Gerald Scarfe art for Pink Floyd, in The Wall in particular. Pink Floyd is the goto music for depressed geezers. I haven't studied much about depression, but maybe it helps to commiserate. I've not had life long problems with depression, but like a lot of people (all people?) I've had some very dark parts of my life. As an older guy, I'm not comfortable sharing everything about my life, but I'll send you a PM. On the commiseration front, I also have been having serious problems in the last couple of months with motivation and depression. Lost my mojo around here somewhere. Given that I've seen this before multiple times, I'll probably find it again before too long. For me it has to get to a point of being sick and tired of being depressed. Your mileage will undoubtedly vary. No idea if that helps or not, but please know that all of us here love you man.
One thing for sure- you absolutely did succeed at becoming the very best in the world at shaderhacking. You've surpassed even the astonishingly good work done by Helix. I haven't seen any other tool or work come close, including things like ENB and Reshade.

Still, like others have noted, if shaderhacking is adding stress instead of satisfaction, then let it go. Take a break, work on only stuff you are enjoying, or give it up altogether. You know yourself best.


Absolutely love your art there, super great. Possibly because it reminds me of the Gerald Scarfe art for Pink Floyd, in The Wall in particular. Pink Floyd is the goto music for depressed geezers.

I haven't studied much about depression, but maybe it helps to commiserate. I've not had life long problems with depression, but like a lot of people (all people?) I've had some very dark parts of my life. As an older guy, I'm not comfortable sharing everything about my life, but I'll send you a PM.

On the commiseration front, I also have been having serious problems in the last couple of months with motivation and depression. Lost my mojo around here somewhere. Given that I've seen this before multiple times, I'll probably find it again before too long. For me it has to get to a point of being sick and tired of being depressed. Your mileage will undoubtedly vary.


No idea if that helps or not, but please know that all of us here love you man.

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#13
Posted 03/26/2017 12:50 AM   
[quote="bo3b"]One thing for sure- you absolutely did succeed at becoming the very best in the world at shaderhacking. You've surpassed even the astonishingly good work done by Helix. I haven't seen any other tool or work come close, including things like ENB and Reshade. Still, like others have noted, if shaderhacking is adding stress instead of satisfaction, then let it go. Take a break, work on only stuff you are enjoying, or give it up altogether. You know yourself best. Absolutely love your art there, super great. Possibly because it reminds me of the Gerald Scarfe art for Pink Floyd, in The Wall in particular. Pink Floyd is the goto music for depressed geezers. I haven't studied much about depression, but maybe it helps to commiserate. I've not had life long problems with depression, but like a lot of people (all people?) I've had some very dark parts of my life. As an older guy, I'm not comfortable sharing everything about my life, but I'll send you a PM. On the commiseration front, I also have been having serious problems in the last couple of months with motivation and depression. Lost my mojo around here somewhere. Given that I've seen this before multiple times, I'll probably find it again before too long. For me it has to get to a point of being sick and tired of being depressed. Your mileage will undoubtedly vary. No idea if that helps or not, but please know that all of us here love you man.[/quote] +1000 to this! Yeah, sometimes is really hard to express on a forum certain feelings But bo3b is right! Most likely everyone here can share some events that "beat even the best movie scripts"! But, in the end is all about surpassing that and be a "winner"! Depression - in all is forms - is a "common" thing now-days! Everyone of this planet felt it! Key is not to let it "control you"! Whenever I feel in that state, I always try to find new things to do/buy/learn! (The "world" is HUGE!) More or less, we are "subjugated" to daily-routines. I try to break that routine every-day, just to add some "spice" to it so I can "feel I am a living person" and not just a "thinking-robot" that all it does is "sleep-work-home-repeat" ;) I have collaborated with you on a number of fixes by now and for me, you definitely are the BEST in 3D graphics, understanding them, reverse-engineering them and the list go on! So, don't let this "assume control"! You can definitely "beat it"! (Love for you, is all around here!)
bo3b said:One thing for sure- you absolutely did succeed at becoming the very best in the world at shaderhacking. You've surpassed even the astonishingly good work done by Helix. I haven't seen any other tool or work come close, including things like ENB and Reshade.

Still, like others have noted, if shaderhacking is adding stress instead of satisfaction, then let it go. Take a break, work on only stuff you are enjoying, or give it up altogether. You know yourself best.


Absolutely love your art there, super great. Possibly because it reminds me of the Gerald Scarfe art for Pink Floyd, in The Wall in particular. Pink Floyd is the goto music for depressed geezers.

I haven't studied much about depression, but maybe it helps to commiserate. I've not had life long problems with depression, but like a lot of people (all people?) I've had some very dark parts of my life. As an older guy, I'm not comfortable sharing everything about my life, but I'll send you a PM.

On the commiseration front, I also have been having serious problems in the last couple of months with motivation and depression. Lost my mojo around here somewhere. Given that I've seen this before multiple times, I'll probably find it again before too long. For me it has to get to a point of being sick and tired of being depressed. Your mileage will undoubtedly vary.


No idea if that helps or not, but please know that all of us here love you man.


+1000 to this!
Yeah, sometimes is really hard to express on a forum certain feelings But bo3b is right!
Most likely everyone here can share some events that "beat even the best movie scripts"! But, in the end is all about surpassing that and be a "winner"!
Depression - in all is forms - is a "common" thing now-days! Everyone of this planet felt it! Key is not to let it "control you"!
Whenever I feel in that state, I always try to find new things to do/buy/learn! (The "world" is HUGE!)
More or less, we are "subjugated" to daily-routines. I try to break that routine every-day, just to add some "spice" to it so I can "feel I am a living person" and not just a "thinking-robot" that all it does is "sleep-work-home-repeat" ;)

I have collaborated with you on a number of fixes by now and for me, you definitely are the BEST in 3D graphics, understanding them, reverse-engineering them and the list go on!

So, don't let this "assume control"! You can definitely "beat it"!
(Love for you, is all around here!)


Life is as empty without Terror, as is without Love...
But thou Chaos can be beautiful...
It can not last...


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Paypal for donations: tavyhome@gmail.com

#14
Posted 03/26/2017 01:06 AM   
Oh man.... I've been there a couple of years ago I went through some real bad shit, kept it mainly to my self and ended up fighting through it. Gaming was one thing that helped me with that. It sucks that someone who has brought so much joy for people around here over the years has to go through this stuff. In my case it was something I worked and for for many years to have it torn away from me in the worst way possible, then things then spiraled out of control, a perfect storm, one of my best friends in my band, killed himself and we found him, I got in trouble with the law due to bad judgement surrounding this, and anything that could go wrong went wrong. I literally spent two months in bed and it plagued me in some form for over a year, and its still there but I keep it at bay. That kind of depression is not pretty and it really sucks anything else out of your life. As cliched as it sounds, I think meditation and living as much in the moment as possible helps with this and alot of exercise. But I also know, when it's truly debilitating depression, there is not really anything anyone can do or say to bring you out of it, you will when you are ready. It's sad that it seems so many of our "Stars" around here struggle with things of this nature. (and I means stars in every sense of the word.) Maybe it's indicative of this hobby which allows such escapism and 3dvision being the best form of it. Take all the time you need, and if it means dropping the work you do for this community then so be it. You come first in all this. I'm sure you know everyone here is behind you all the way. You can be sure if there is anything this community can do, we will be here for you.
Oh man.... I've been there a couple of years ago I went through some real bad shit, kept it mainly to my self and ended up fighting through it. Gaming was one thing that helped me with that.

It sucks that someone who has brought so much joy for people around here over the years has to go through this stuff.

In my case it was something I worked and for for many years to have it torn away from me in the worst way possible, then things then spiraled out of control, a perfect storm, one of my best friends in my band, killed himself and we found him, I got in trouble with the law due to bad judgement surrounding this, and anything that could go wrong went wrong. I literally spent two months in bed and it plagued me in some form for over a year, and its still there but I keep it at bay.

That kind of depression is not pretty and it really sucks anything else out of your life. As cliched as it sounds, I think meditation and living as much in the moment as possible helps with this and alot of exercise.

But I also know, when it's truly debilitating depression, there is not really anything anyone can do or say to bring you out of it, you will when you are ready.

It's sad that it seems so many of our "Stars" around here struggle with things of this nature. (and I means stars in every sense of the word.) Maybe it's indicative of this hobby which allows such escapism and 3dvision being the best form of it.

Take all the time you need, and if it means dropping the work you do for this community then so be it. You come first in all this. I'm sure you know everyone here is behind you all the way.

You can be sure if there is anything this community can do, we will be here for you.

i7-4790K CPU
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Windows 7 pro 64x (Windows 10 Dual boot)

#15
Posted 03/26/2017 01:50 AM   
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